Letters - Dating in Taiwan

Just received this letter recently, and thought I'd share it here:

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Hi Ken

My questions are personal nature and you maybe not want to answer it.

It has nothing to do with just with me

Here the story:

I meet a taiwan woman,, 28yo, i am 40, this year in october in Europe

she was traveling with another women from taiwan about her age

we got involved into each other and ended up traveling our self, without her friend through

germany and so on for one month and resting in my apartment in switzerland afterwards.

things got rather serious from a love point of view

myself, i have been to many countries in the world, the usa, canada

middle east and of course all over asia. in the past ten years i operated out

of bangkok and went all over the asian area for private trips and so on

so i have some experience with asian woman

however i never encountered a taiwan women. they seem, with underlining seem, to be

different then lets say the thais or japanese AND to some degree, to my surprise, the

chinese

i myself are from switzerland

in switzerland, and probably also in the usa, many women from asia and other places in the

world would like to go and work and live there

there starts my problem with judging the women. and when i came across your blog

i was thinking, lets ask Ken, maybe he has some tips.

how can i make sure, or at least try to access the real nature of interest of a girl

really getting involved with me. the least thing i want is to be a simple sponsor for

somebody to come to europe under a false statement to me.

i know its a difficult question and maybe not answered with one email.

but maybe you can show me some tips and feedbacks you brought back from there to

your place, and maybe you know the differences between taiwanese women and thais and

chinese and japanese and so on, and can give me some inputs

ok, think this is enough for now, i wait for your response

kind regards

phil

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To start off, I can't really tell you the differences between Taiwanese, Chinese, Japanese, and Thais because I haven't dated any Chinese, Japanese, or Thais. Only Taiwanese. I have a reader on my other blog that is married to a Japanese woman, so maybe he can write in and tell you his views on that.

I don't think you can tell the true intent of a girl after only two months (you said you met her in October). I would recommend that you visit her in Taiwan. Meet her family and spend some time with them, learning their culture. There is a 12 year age difference between the two of you, but 40 is still young, so I doubt she sees you as a "sugar daddy." It is possible that she only wants to use you as a sponsor for her green card. That is very possible, since there seems to be a lot of this particular type of woman running around Taiwan.

Take things slowly. If she is asking you to sponsor her after only two months, that is a bad sign. If she really loves you, she won't care where she lives, as long as it's with you.

Good luck

(Pictures: Two Taiwanese girls looking for fun in Kenting.)

More Letters, and Why Does Hess Suck?

I just received this letter yesterday, so I've decided I'll just start posting them here on the blog and then answering them:

Hi Ken,

Can you please help my fiance and I out? We are struggling to figure out what we should do when it comes to teaching English in Taiwan. We know we want to live in Kaohsiung, and we also don't speakMandarin. We initially were planning on working in Taiwan through HESS but I have heard so many negative things about the company. We also have recently looked into Genius English Institute...are you familiar with them? We both have BA's, but Dan (my fiance) has no English teaching experience. I have a TESOL from a very small organization in Italy.. I'm not sure it would count for much.

Knowing that, what would you recommend? I really appreciate it, and I hate to bother you like this but we are really in a crunch. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Best,
Casey Siemasko

Okay, first of all, are you the same Casey Siemasko who was in Young Guns, Back to the Future, and Three O Clock High? Or do you just happen to share the exact same name? haha

I would recommend you go to the top left-hand corner of this blog and type "Hess" there in the search engine. Every article I wrote about Hess will come up, and most of it is pretty bad. Just last year I wrote a follow up about Hess called "Thoughts On Hess, 3 Years Later" I would strongly advise you read that one too:

http://taiwantotexas.blogspot.com/2010/06/thoughts-on-hess-3-years-later.html

It doesn't matter that your friend doesn't have any teaching experience. As long as you have a BA (in any subject), they will hire you. But you will have to do demonstrations before they hire you. These could range from 5 to 20 minutes, so you had better have something prepared. I wasn't prepared, so I just improvised using magazines, and it worked. My friend who came with me, who was also trying to get hired, did a terrible demonstration, and he bombed badly. So try to put some effort into it.

I don't know a lot about Genius, since I never taught in Kaohsiung, but I looked at their website, and they seem similar to most of the "bushibans" in Taiwan. If you work at a chain school like Genius or Kojen or Eagle, you will probably get paid when you're supposed to, and the school isn't likely get get raided. I've heard some very bad stories from teachers who worked at the smaller, independently run schools.

Don't worry too much about not speaking Mandarin. Most people can at least speak terrible English in the big cities. I wouldn't advise travelling too deep into the countryside though without a Mandarin speaker with you.

Good luck!

I Get Letters....

I don't live in Taiwan anymore. I left in May, 2008. But....I still get letters. Quite often, in fact. Some people write just to tell me how much they liked this blog. Others write to complain that I was either too harsh or too nice about a school or a city in Taiwan. Some just have questions.

Here are just some of the letters I've received.

From "Beth":

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Hi Ken,

I came acrossed your old blog from 2008 on teaching in Taiwan. I found it very interesting!! I am actually about to head off to Taiwan in May, and similar to what you went through, I am debating on teaching for either Hess or Kojen. It sounds like Kojen has been the more positive teaching experience for you, and it's more designed for someone who is independent. I know your blog shares a lot of information, but I would like to know more considering Hess/Kojen. I already taught english in Korea from 2008-2009, so I had the experience of teaching abroad, to middle school students (ages 11-14), and there were about 30-40 students to a class, but I was also assisting teachers in their classrooms, and not the one controlling it. I would be curious to know more information from you on regarding Kojen vs. Hess, and about more of your experiences, if you don't mind sharing/telling more. I see that you're back in the states now, are you and your wife planning on going back to Taiwan or just to visit?

Thanks for any help you can offer....

Beth


From "Wayne":

Hi

My name is Wayne and I stumbled across you blog yesterday while trying to get information on Taiwan weddings. I have been digging through and reading parts of your story but there is so much information it might take me a while to find what I really want to know. I am hoping you might take the time to assist me.

I have been dating a woman from Taiwan for some time and due to circumstances it ended up with us both living in the UK for the last 6 months. I want to propose to her and I am certain she will accept but I know her family are very traditional and the marriage customs are very different there. I am fairly certain she will wish to be wed in Taiwan so I kind of want to understand what my obligations are before hand. I have met her family once before (when we started our relationship) and they seemed quite conservative members of the middle class. I have not spent much time in Taiwan as we did not meet there and have just arranged things so that we could be together in various countries. I would welcome any guidance / personal insights you can share in relation to marriage and dealing with in Tai in-laws as a foreigner.

I would also like to congratulate you and Christy on making things work and wish you continued happiness and prosperity.

Wayne


From Julie:

Hi Ken,Today I stumbled upon your "From Taiwan to Texas" blog while Googling Taiwanese superstitions. I have been enjoying reading it, and am surprised by some of the funny, and sometimes eerie, coincidences that my experiences share with yours. My husband is Caucasian and I'm Taiwanese-American, and we can relate to your in-law stories all too well. I've lived in Southern California as well as Taiwan. The weirdest coincidence is that my husband and I also moved to Austin in 2008, and just bought our first house (I wanted to find something in Manor, but we ended up buying in Taylor). I also work in a hospital. So it's been neat for me to read about your journey these last couple of years, and to think, wow, we've been there...and been through that...and been there too. Except we don't have kids yet, so we haven't had to juggle our responsibilities as much.I look forward to reading more about how you and your family are adjusting to life in Texas. Maybe we'll run into each other around town sometime!


Julie


From Merrick:

Ken,

My name is Merrick , and I found a link to your "An American Teacher in Taiwan" blog on the Dave's ESL Cafe forums. I'm not certain whether it was a link given out by you, or if I found the link in a post made by someone else, but, whatever the case may be, I found your blog and I have really enjoyed reading it. It has been both entertaining and enlightening!I recently graduated with a BA in Psychology from California State University, Channel Islands, which is a small State school in Camarillo. I am 31, and though I was born in Kansas, I was raised in Southern California -- Thousand Oaks, in particular -- since I was three. I was browsing through my School's career center and noticed advertisements from various organizations regarding teaching English overseas. Teaching has been a career that I thought would suit me, and these advertisements really piqued my interest. Since then I have been scouring the internet for all the information I can find. This led me to Dave's ESL Cafe and subsequently to your blog.I recognized many parallels between us when I was reading through your blog. Though I am a college graduate now, I still don't entirely know what I want to do with myself and I thought that attempting to teach English overseas would be a good growing experience and that I may, perhaps, find that teaching English is something that I would like to do long-term. Who knows! I'm 31, single, and I have very little debt. I have absolutely /zero/ teaching experience. Teaching in Japan was my first choice, but it seems that it may be more difficult to get on in that country than in others. Teaching in Taiwan had never really crossed my mind until I did more research on the field and saw other posts directing people to include Taiwan in their list of possible countries to teach in. More digging into Taiwan led me to discover Hess. I was/am completely blown away by how professional and polished their website is. Videos, testimonials, savings calculators -- they seem to have it all. Even more digging (including your blog posts) revealed that maybe Hess isn't the best company to work for, and I know that you mentioned in your blog that you would not recommend them to others. Does that still hold true? I've heard others say that Hess may in fact be a decent place to work for the complete newbie who has no experience in the field.I guess I'm just looking for a little guidance, if that is possible. I want to try teaching English overseas for a year, but I have no teaching experience. The fact that Hess claims that they provide a comprehensive training program is very enticing to me considering that I have no experience and I would be deathly afraid to step in front of a class without any.From my research into Hess and other teaching opportunities in Taiwan, it seems that much of the teaching (at least with Hess) is directed towards Kindergarten children. I would certainly not be opposed to teaching children, but then I read that teaching Kindergarten is actually /illegal/ for foreigners to do? After finding that out, even after reading the good and bad about Hess, to say that I was bummed is an understatement. Is it true? On their website, they claim that the prospective teacher's employment will be legal. I'm just so confused now.I guess what I'm really asking is, if you had to do it all over again, with the knowledge that you now have, how would you proceed if you were me and wanted to get started teaching in Taiwan? Would you try your luck with Hess, would you go with someone else? Hess only looks so appealing to me because of their nice website. I've heard good things from people on forums and bad things, but the supposed illegality of teaching Kindergarten has me confused. I would not be opposed to choosing another company so long as they provide a comprehensive training course. I don't want to be dropped in the deep end with no life preserver, so to speak.Forgive me for being so verbose, I know you are busy with your wife, your children, and your work, but I would truly appreciate any advice you have to give.


Sincerely,

Merrick

From Ralph:

Hello Ken,

I've read your blog and found it very interesting. My wife and I recently went to visit
Taipei City and we found, being there was much of a relief from the chaos on the
streets of Manila.

We both are Canadians, living in Manila, Philippines for over two years now.

My wife was originally from the Philippines but moved to Canada in 1981. I am
also a foreigner who moved to Canada in 1977, from Belgium.

As we were in Taipei, we enjoyed that the people there had a lot more discipline
than in the Philippines and the roads are a lot cleaner. We were truly amazed of
the good road infrastucture and the good transportation systen (e.i. MRT).

That was our observation, but as you mentioned, you had also a in parts a different
view of Taiwan. This is understandable. We live in Manila and we saw Taipei, for us,
it was a relief to be away from total chaos.

The city is only a short distance with the plane from Manila and it we were surpised
of the difference of the behaviour and culture between the two countries.

My wife blends into the race there as many people thought that she was a local
of Taiwan, but my wife can not speak Chinese.

She is fluent in English and has been working for the last 25 years with the elderly
in a nursing home in Calgary, Canada, as she was constantly dealing with people
in a verbal way.

We were even thinking of moving to Taipei or Taiwan after we came back here
in the Philippines.

With this e-mail to you, and knowing you have 4 years of experience in the field of
teaching English to students, would my wife (49 years of age, but looks younger
as she is, as she is Asian), be able to find a job as an English teacher in one of the
English Teaching Schools in Taiwan and be qualified?

If she would be qualified, would I be able to join her right away and live there on
a permanent basis, too?

I know, she needs to apply for a certain visa and what kind of visa(s) does she needs?

What kind of visa would I need to join her?

Thanks and regards. Best of things back in the States for you and your family.

Ralph and Aida

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Ok, so that's all I'm going to print for now. I seem to get a lot of letters wanting to know more about which school is better, Hess or Kojen. Check out my blog entry "Hess Vs. Kojen"

http://kenberglund.blogspot.com/2008/04/hess-vs-kojen.html

There really isn't much more I can add to that than what I already put. For me, Kojen was a much better experience than Hess. Maybe Kojen sucks now, who knows. The economy was much better when I lived in Taiwan, so it's possible that the whole bushiban system has changed. Hopefully someone can write in and let me know.

Thanks again to everyone who wrote!